A moment to myself

I have created a habit this past year and a half, I double and triple check everything. Not like if I have my keys or if the door is locked. More like, is my whole heart in this? Am I being a good student? Am I being a good friend? Am being a good girlfriend? Am I being a good daughter? Am I being a good sister? Am I the person God intended for me to be?

I am nothing like I was then, I am conscious. I want to be whole. I don’t want to put 20% into something because something else has 80% of me. I want to be the best person I can be. True. Whole-hearted. In the past I have put my heart, my needs, myself, on the back burner. Part of me has always and will always do this but now I am consciously paying attention to life. Life is too short to not pay attention to every detail of every day. A heart break, a death, cancer, a prince and, a baby has brought me here, molded me into who I am, with the help and support of my amazing friends and family :)

Some say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, a year ago I would’ve agreed but now I know, fooling yourself into thinking things are what they are and you are okay and want them that way, isn’t happiness. Growing, understanding, having a teammate and a life to come home to…is MY happiness.

My heart will never be the same… But even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger. I am stronger.

Here is to being a fighter…

Tell me what we got Tell me it’s a lot Tell me it’s a good thing Tell me not to change and always be the same. Tell me it’s a good thing Tell me it’s the real thing that keeps me hanging on…

Feeling a little down, used, and alone.